Myth: There is an ideal woman/man.
Fact: There is no ideal woman, man, or anything else. Everyone, everything has flaws, usually big ones.

Myth: You can change her if you yell, swear, or “show her” what is “logical.”
Fact: Fixing someone else’s flaws is not possible. Fixing your flaws is possible. 

Myth: You can be her “hero,” savior, knight in shining armor, surrogate dad. 
Fact: You cannot be any of these. Trying to be them invites abuse.

Myth: You can get her to sober up.
Fact: No one has gotten anyone else sober in human history. Maybe you’ll be the first.

Myth: The right woman or man will make you happy.
Fact: A good partnership will improve your life with love, care, and companionship.Fact: No one can make you happy. You have to make yourself happy.

Myth: Hot sex on the first date will lead to happiness.
Fact: Hot sex will end quickly and be weaponized into abuse.

Myth: Drinking makes women fun.
Fact: Drinkers—this means you—are future abusers.

Myth: The law will treat all people equally, fairly, justly.
Fact: The law is a blunt instrument.

Myth: Abuse will be treated as a crime.Fact: Abuse is a crime but may not be treated as one by the criminal and civil justice system.  

Myth: The other side will “listen to reason.”
Fact: “Be reasonable” translates to: “agree with me!”
Fact: Reasonable fluctuates like the weather.
Fact: The other side will only listen to reason if there is a benefit.
Fact:  Rational is different than reasonable. Rational thinking consists of three components:  
1)    Considering evidence.
2)    Appropriate level of concern.
3)    Not making catastrophes where there are none.

Myth: Complaining will change her.
Fact:  One can endlessly complain about history or people, chase a provocation, and nothing changes.